When Will The Cancer Let Go Of Me, When Can I Feel That I’m Truly Free?
This is a question I asked myself in a poem that I wrote while I was still going through radiation treatment for Early Stage Breast Cancer. That was a little over 2 years ago.
After almost 3 years from when I was diagnosed, I am cancer-free. For this I am grateful. I am grateful that I have time to see my grandchildren grow, and time to watch my children mature into productive, responsible, and caring adults. I am grateful that I have time to make amends to those I may have contributed to their feeling pain, anger or worry about where I had gone with my life. And I am grateful to have a husband that has put up with me, my moods, and my anger throughout this process, never raising his voice even when I provoked him.
I would never say this has been an easy journey, far from easy. I can say it has been a learning experience for me, given me a 2nd chance with my loved ones and more importantly with myself. I am far from perfect and still get angry and impatient. The difference today, I have learned to let go and be who I really am. I have learned when I don’t feel well, take it easy, don’t stress over everything I “can’t” do. This cancer did knock me for a loop but it did not take me out. It has made me think about what is really important to me and to realize just how fast life moves on.
The question I asked myself a couple of years ago, there is no simple answer. Today I am cancer-free yet somehow it has become a part of my life on a daily basis. Although I do not constantly think about it, it is constantly there, hovering. Like any inflammation or illness, I have learned to cope and am working towards a “whole” cure.
I am thankful for every single person that has taken a moment or more to listen to me, to listen to all of us, and to just be here. I am thankful for all who have gone before me and have shared their stories. With everyone’s love and inspirations I can tell you I Live Strong Today!
She came to live with us March 15, 2008. She is my buddy and love of my life! How did I manage before “Penny” came into my life??? She loves to take walks and run around the back yard. She has a favorite toy…….an orange squeeky toy bone. Sometimes she’ll just hold it in her mouth squeeking it over and over…….lol…..other times she brings it to me to throw for her to retrieve again and again. All of the other dogs around us are little ankle biters…..and just too small for Penny to play with. One swat and woooosh…….poor little puppies. So as much as she wants to play with all the little doggies, I have to keep her away from them. Of course once in awhile we take a drive to Tina’s house and Penny gets to run and play with Sasha. She tends to get car sick on the drive so we try not to feed her before the trip. Once we get there Penny is so happy to be able to run around some and have another dog to play with. By the time we get back home she is ready for bed. She just loves the new bed she got for Christmas…….so soft and cozy. Yes, I do love my newest best buddy……Penelope Ann Margaret Crusoe!
