When Will The Cancer Let Go Of Me, When Can I Feel That I’m Truly Free?
This is a question I asked myself in a poem that I wrote while I was still going through radiation treatment for Early Stage Breast Cancer. That was a little over 2 years ago.
After almost 3 years from when I was diagnosed, I am cancer-free. For this I am grateful. I am grateful that I have time to see my grandchildren grow, and time to watch my children mature into productive, responsible, and caring adults. I am grateful that I have time to make amends to those I may have contributed to their feeling pain, anger or worry about where I had gone with my life. And I am grateful to have a husband that has put up with me, my moods, and my anger throughout this process, never raising his voice even when I provoked him.
I would never say this has been an easy journey, far from easy. I can say it has been a learning experience for me, given me a 2nd chance with my loved ones and more importantly with myself. I am far from perfect and still get angry and impatient. The difference today, I have learned to let go and be who I really am. I have learned when I don’t feel well, take it easy, don’t stress over everything I “can’t” do. This cancer did knock me for a loop but it did not take me out. It has made me think about what is really important to me and to realize just how fast life moves on.
The question I asked myself a couple of years ago, there is no simple answer. Today I am cancer-free yet somehow it has become a part of my life on a daily basis. Although I do not constantly think about it, it is constantly there, hovering. Like any inflammation or illness, I have learned to cope and am working towards a “whole” cure.
I am thankful for every single person that has taken a moment or more to listen to me, to listen to all of us, and to just be here. I am thankful for all who have gone before me and have shared their stories. With everyone’s love and inspirations I can tell you I Live Strong Today!
